MacComedy

Free copies of Windows Vista and MMS-enabled iPhones just some of the deals

Like many retailers, Apple will be offering some fantastic deals to Black Friday shoppers that are already lining up at Apple Stores across the country.

Forget 5 to 10 percent discounts.  Phil Schiller, Apple Senior Vice President of Worldwide Product Marketing, says we can expect discounts of up to 50 percent and even free giveaways along with releases of special products not currently available.

The first 100 people to enter an Apple Store on Black Friday will be given a free copy of Microsoft Windows Vista.  “We just want people to see how much Vista really sucks,” said Schiller.  “And since you can actually install Vista on a Mac, now you experience a truly crappy OS without having to buy a PC.”

Ever since the introduction of the original iPhone, people have been clamoring for Apple and AT&T to bring MMS messaging — or the ability to send picture messages — to the phone.  On Friday, they’ll get their wish.

“The iPhone has had the capability of doing MMS messaging since the beginning,” said Schiller.  “We just wanted to release it later so it looked like we were constantly adding new features.  But on November 28, everyone who comes into an Apple Store will have MMS enabled on their iPhones for free.”

What about the rest of us?

“You’ll have to wait until the $50 upgrade in 2010.  Or next Black Friday.”

And how about some free software?  Everyone who brings in a printed letter for Steve Jobs, asking for an educational discount, will be given a free copy of Final Cut Studio 2.

“We didn’t feel it was fair for one rich kid in Greenwich, Connecticut to get a free copy,” said Schiller.  “Now everyone has a chance.”

Apple is also offering 50 percent discounts on discontinued items.

The Apple Newton 2100 will be on sale for $499, half of what it cost when it was released in 1997.  Not bad for a 16-level grayscale screen and 8 MB of RAM.  You can also pick up a Bandai Pippin for $299, but good luck in finding some software for it.

All Apple Stores will open at 2:30am on November 28.  We spoke to some people at the Crocker Park Apple Store who are already camped out.

“Of course it’s worth it,” said Rich Paulson.  “I’ve got a six-pack of Jolt, seven cans of SPAM, a MacBook Pro leeching free WiFi from the store and an extension cord running nextdoor to the DSW.  I can’t wait to install Vista on this thing!”

“I’ve been wanting a Newton for 11 years,” said Alex Rose.  “You can find them on eBay for about 40 bucks, but that’s used.”

These deals will only be available at Apple retail stores on November 28.  Apple plans a separate promotion on its website for December 1 — Cyber Monday.  From noon till 2pm on Cyber Monday, Apple is actually allowing visitors to apple.com to edit the Online Store any way they wish - Wikipedia-style.  Want to change the price of a new MacBook from $1,299 to $11?  You got it!  Change the processor from “Intel Core 2 Duo” to “Oreo Cookie”?  Done.

Apple is also offering a “no questions asked”, no restocking fee day for all returns, even opened software, on December 4 — Buyer’s Remorse Thursday.